JAZZ
by egochan
Summary: Honda starts out eating lunch, and then spends the majority of this fic hiding in a restroom stall. Um, hilarity ensues? Whatever. Basically, this fic is Honda overreacting as Seto and Ryuuji make out…right in front of him.


Title: J.A.Z.Z. (Just Another Zzzzz Zzzzz )  
Author: Ego-chan  
Pairing: Seto/Ryuuji  
Disclaimer: Well, since this fic has drained me of the majority of my writing stamina and "profound" wit, I will merely tell you that I do not own Yuugioh (or Yugioh, Yuugiou, Yugio, YGO, or Yuugay-o, etc…). Want to know why? Ask Takahashi-sama; seeing as he i does /i own a great deal.

Summary: Honda starts out eating lunch, and then spends the majority of this fic hiding in a restroom stall. Um, hilarity ensues? Whatever. Basically, this fic is Honda overreacting as Ryuuji and Seto make out…right in front of him.

Notes: I blame this fic on jazz, which I was listening to when the idea came to me. I love jazz music immensely:cheers thrice for her Miles Davis CD: but the fic it inspired is something else entirely. Also, so you know, I'm a bloody dialogue whore. I'm going to put in as much chit-chat as I possibly can while striving to still retain some decency. Terrible of me, I know, absolutely terrible.

:plays "Green Haze" and ignores her offensive grammar:

lololololololololol

Honda was walking back from the laundry when the rain started. It was the season for such weather, yet he had forgotten to bring an umbrella. He hadn't anticipated on being out long anyway, and had decided to ignore the morning radio forecast. The trip wasn't going to be long, only a short walk to the laundry where he would pick up some of his work suits and the stuffed kuriboh Ryuuji had demanded to be washed. Honda was suffering for his good will as the rain showed signs of being particularly violent. Basket of clothes and kuriboh in his arms, he ran for shelter underneath the awning of a European-style restaurant. It wasn't long before he found himself entering due to the forming crowd.

Inside the restaurant, Honda studied the basket's contents with a sigh. His clothes were wet, so he'd have to iron them when he returned to the flat. It certainly wasn't something he enjoyed doing. Last time he'd attempted such, Ryuuji had walked in and asked with disgust what was cooking. Honda had screamed and run to the front room to survey the damage. Ryuuji had rolled his eyes and finished the rest of the clothes. He tried to teach the man how one went about ironing, but Honda had been too traumatised to commit anything to memory.

At the moment, Honda would've given just about anything to have been paying attention. He hoped Ryuuji would be back by the time the storm ended. He didn't know where his roommate had gone, but if he would iron the clothes, Honda would forget an inquisition.

"Sir, do you have a reservation?"

Honda stopped sorting through his wrinkled shirts and looked up at the man in front of him.

"No. No, I don't."

"Would you like to order a table? There are three available this afternoon."

Honda was amazed as he considered agreeing. He took one look outside where the rain was pouring down in torrents and turned back to the host.

"How much is one?"

lololololololololol

With a freedom induced by his possession of Ryuuji's credit card, Honda not only ordered a table, but had satisfied himself with a decent lunch as well. He justified the action with the fact Ryuuji never paid for the laundry, and washing the kuriboh had cost his roommate extra. It was only natural he should be compensated for what he'd spent.

Honda was happily working through soup and salad when he noticed two very familiar men being directed towards a near table. He sputtered into his soup and winced as a strong garlic flavour entered his windpipe. What were Seto and Ryuuji doing there?

Not willing to jump to conclusions, Honda excused the lunch as some kind of meeting. Both Seto and Ryuuji's companies were game and entertainment focussed. Why wouldn't they decide to discuss business over a comfortable meal in a convenient restaurant that served soup which tasted much better going down the correct pipe?

Honda was fully prepared to accept this and finish his meal in peace. He only looked over once, as casually as possible, and saw Ryuuji grab Seto's hand and press it to the side of his face, resting his head. For obvious reasons, such an action seemed a bit too familiar. Ryuuji had certainly not told him about this. When he thought Ryuuji was looking his direction he hunched down in his seat and tried to remain inconspicuous. He didn't want them to know what he'd seen.

Of course, after witnessing such an affectionate gesture and noting Seto's failure to become furious, Honda found it near impossible to look away for long. Something about their ease and the idea they had no clue he was there made Honda feel like a terrible spy. He cast another curious glance in time to see Kaiba Seto actually smile. It wasn't a very loud smile, granted, but it was there and genuine. Honda suddenly imagined he needed to use the restroom. He kicked his feet awkwardly around the laundry basket under the table as he shot up and left. He didn't breathe or look up until he had a door safely between himself and the oblivious couple.

Honda could see his face in the wall mirror over the sinks, and it had a very lost expression. He blinked at his reflection for a few moments and turned on a faucet. He splashed his face once to clear his head. It didn't bother him that Ryuuji was gay, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to stand the man as a roommate. But, what he'd just witnessed was unexpected and had obviously caught him off guard. He couldn't understand why Ryuuji had never mentioned Seto to him. It couldn't possibly have been their first date, since they seemed so comfortable. What had kept him from announcing such a thing? Did they want privacy for as long as the press would allow it? If so, Honda felt guilty for having discovered them. But then, that would have been their fault for eating out in public.

Honda splashed his face once more to reassure himself as the bathroom door opened. Normally, he wouldn't have done anything, but he recognised the voice of Ryuuji laughing. With amazing speed he would've never suspected he possessed, Honda bolted into an empty stall and locked the door. Ryuuji entered the restroom a second later entirely unawares of his roommate's presence.

"Don't be stupid, I'm positive someone saw us. You've been such a baka waiting for your brother's say. You don't need his consent."

"I don't want him to be troubled. Many of the things I do are reflected onto him, so I wanted him to have fair warning."

"Yes, 'fair warning' is the way to say it. If he disagreed and you conformed, I would've killed you."

"Sure…."

Honda was just barely breathing for the sake of not being discovered. He was frozen listening to the two talking. Very slowly, he brought his head to where he could see out into the restroom. Ryuuji was instinctively washing his hands and Kaiba was shaking his head.

"You're hands aren't dirty."

"I'm washing them because I'm about to eat. It's precautionary."

"And how are you going to turn the faucet off when you're done?"

"With my foot."

Honda could see enough of Seto's face to know the man had raised an eyebrow questioningly. He'd never seen or imagined such an expression.

"You're not going to kick the knob, are you?"

"No, I'll tap it lightly."

Seto didn't respond as Ryuuji somehow managed to lift his foot to the level of the faucet and turn it off. Honda was amazed at the feat, since Ryuuji wasn't known for wearing loose pants. He would've thought such an act would be quite painful.

"You're a fool."

"A flexible fool."

"You'd have to be."

Honda choked.

Ryuuji only smirked at Seto's comment and sat on the counter. He looked the man in the eye confidently and made a gesture Honda couldn't see from his vantage point. Seto and Ryuuji were almost completely out of his view.

Almost.

Honda could see perfectly well when Seto kissed Ryuuji deeply. It was an awkward moment for him, even if the other two didn't know. He resisted the urge to fidget and clear his throat, instead choosing to look away. This may have been worse, since he focussed more on what he heard from the two, and the sounds were not calming.

It occurred to him that making for the restroom had been the worst decision of his life. If he were still at his table, he would've been long gone before he found out more than he really wanted to know. Unfortunately, this was not the case and it killed him. Against his better judgment, he began to consider bursting out of the stall, pointing at Ryuuji and Seto accusingly before screaming about what a man would give just to urinate in peace. It wasn't a good idea, but it was looking better and better the longer he was trapped listening to what could potentially progress to gay porn if not attacked with something dramatic.

The two finally stopped making out in order to share a moment of looking into one another's eyes. Honda wondered if it wasn't logical for him to walk out of the stall now. He could picture himself doing it. He'd open the door, cool-as-you-please, and simply stroll out. The lovers wouldn't affect him in the slightest, since it was known such things would _never_ bother Honda Hiroto.

"Do you still share an apartment with Jounouchi's friend, the big one with the odd hair?"

Honda's attention inadvertently perked at the reference to himself.

"Yes."

"You should move out. You're not poor."

Ryuuji laughed. "But who will help pay the rent?"

"I'm sure he'll find someone. Your apartment's in a nice part of town."

Honda had returned to watching Ryuuji and Seto's expressions, since it was easier when they weren't kissing each other's faces off. Ryuuji's eyes were concentrated as he considered the implications of Seto's suggestion. Suddenly, he laughed and jumped down from the counter.

"Why are we even going over this?" he asked. "I'm sure if your brother is a homophobe, then it wouldn't matter anymore, would it?"

"No," Seto said slowly. "No, it would still matter."

"Are you sure?" Ryuuji had one of his annoyingly inquisitive expressions on; the one that said he was having a hard time believing you, and that you would have to go through hell explaining yourself before he did. Honda had a particular dislike of it, since the look had cost him many arguments and coherent thoughts when he discovered that expounding on his reasons was not as easy as forcing them onto others.

Seto knew a better way to cope with Ryuuji's strategy, and this seemed involved ignoring it completely. There was a steady silence following Ryuuji's question. Honda soon realised that Seto was only preparing for another kiss. It was a very concluding reply and was successful in shutting Ryuuji up, but Honda highly doubted that it would've worked so well for him.

Honda sighed in frustration as Seto and Ryuuji started all over again. His lapse of thinking was not to go unnoticed.

"Did you hear something, Seto?"

"Yes. There's someone in here."

Honda wanted to die. He was too busy starting to list the ways Seto could kill him to pay attention when there was a knocking on the stall door.

"Occupied." He said faintly, trying to disguise his voice in his arm. There was an awkward silence. Honda was certain Ryuuji had recognised him and would proceed in having the surprise boyfriend beat the shit out of his lover's clueless roommate.

For a long time, no one moved. Ryuuji and Seto were probably surprised that they hadn't been alone, having assumed their minds were playing tricks on them when they'd heard the sigh. Honda, of course, didn't want to breathe least it set off an attack from the shocked and likely furious couple. He waited anxiously for a sound, for any implication of the atmosphere beyond the stall door.

Seto coughed. Honda wanted to scream until he realised how harmless a sound it was. He could hear a faint ruffling of clothes and movement. Ryuuji and Seto were communicating quietly without speaking. They were probably plotting coordinates on where to stand when Seto forced the door open. Honda was not going to leave without a confrontation.

Honda began searching his mind for a plan out of his current predicament. Seto and Ryuuji knew it was him locked in the stall, being an awful spy turned back into his natural element of a coward, and had been mouthing the name "Honda" to each other in mutual agreement. Though he couldn't verify this, Honda was sure he didn't have to.

An idea of what to do came to Honda as one of the men outside scratched his nose. With a tremendous effort of will, he moved enough to flush the toilet. There was a monstrous roar that reverberated off of the walls and startled everyone in the room. In the climax of sound, Honda unlocked the door and bolted from the stall. He'd thrown his coat over his face to keep from having to look at Ryuuji and Seto and made a dash for the door. Neglecting his bill and the laundry, he hurried out of the restaurant and into the street.

Three blocks away and soaking wet, Honda realised what he'd forgotten and swore.

lololololololololol

Ryuuji looked at Seto and Seto looked at Ryuuji. Both were rather shocked with what had just happened. The toilet was slowly filling with water and the stall door had stopped swinging back and forth. Finally, Seto spoke.

"I hope you've learned a lesson from this: It's downright sleazy to make out in the men's room."

"Whatever. All I know is that if Mokuba does that after you tell him you're gay, I'm in trouble."

"No, I'll lock the doors."

"Great."

End-


End file.
